Exercise and Other Good Things!

So recently, I've been on this thing where I just feel the need to exercise every single day. I don't really know why, or what started it, it just kind of came at me and has stayed there ever since two weeks ago. I was bored, so I decided to go on a walk around campus one morning since I had finished all of my homework the previous night. I had a feeling I might want to sleep the following morning, so I just went ahead and completed everything. I ended up not sleeping that morning - I guess I was feeling restless - so I went on a walk, instead. I was curious about what the other side of campus looked like that I had never been to, so I took a look around as a carried my coffee-bloated stomach around the lake. It was such a nice, relaxing feeling, going on that walk. Even though I had to dodge a lot of geese poop, it was still completely worth it. So I started doing that and on days I didn't walk around, I would jump rope in the evenings. Now I'm just used to doing that. I must have exercised at least 4 times last week for at least half an hour a day, which isn't so bad. One day, I think I even did it for 45 minutes. I wasn't sure if it was doing anything for me, but I've found that I don't fall asleep in class like I used to. I seem to have more energy. And when I walk up flights of stairs, I'm not panting like it's the biggest deal ever when I reach the top. Now, it feels almost as if I practically floated up the stairs when I reach the top step because it feels as if it takes so little effort to get there, unlike before! So it's a really nice feeling. ^^ I've been trying to keep a pretty regular exercise routine because of that feeling. :)
Another thing I'd like to share is that two of my closest friends - the ones I wanted to go to Chicago with - are currently getting along, it seems! I really hope that they can steadily become really good friends, or something like that. It would make me really happy. ^^ I heard that they talked for 3 hours yesterday, and I was so surprised! I still don't know what triggered the conversation, but all I know is that it makes me so incredibly happy. I love them both. Maybe we can still go to Chicago, after all. If we have the money. ;)

Boss DJ is stuck in my head.

So today, I talked with my crush's girlfriend and him together. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought...I really thought she didn't like me at first, but she is so nice. She's kind of like me. I don't know. She's one of those people where you talk to them, and you're just like, 'how can I be mad at that?' You can't; that's the answer. It's impossible to be upset. And I was so upset that he picked her instead of me for a long time. But when she laughed at something he had said, it didn't make me sad at all. I could hear her adoration for him in her laugh. And it just made me feel so much better because it made me realize that he's happy, and that they're happy together, which makes me happy, too. And it was just a good feeling and a good moment that I playing back in my head. I just feel so much better than I did before about when I saw him. I used to feel so down after seeing him because all I could think about was the fact that he wasn't mine. But now, it's not like that anymore. And I'm so thankful. :)

It was a beautiful day yesterday, and I'm sure it is today, too. I am so tired of doing homework. Is it time yet to be finished with school??? Because I am ready to move on to STLCC-Meramec, and I am ready for summer, and I am ready to drive, and I am ready to have a job! I am also ready to move somewhere in the city. I just don't want to be in the county anymore. It is so boring and I feel so much older than I actually am. I want to have fun! I never get to have fun. I'm going to end up being one of those 30 year-olds who is clubbing and being asked why I'm still partying, because I'm too old. It's going to be like that if I don't move back to the city soon. What I really can't wait for, though, is to move away from the border of Missouri and Illinois. I have always lived around this border. I've lived in St. Louis, I've lived in Wentzville, I've lived in Granite City, and I've lived in Maryville. I just want to get out of that area! I'm so tired of it! I'm ready for new things after I get my AA. It will be so nice to leave! I'll miss it, but I need to move on. Everything is growing to be so expected, you know? Anyway, ciao! I must do my Spanish homework. I don't get what is supposed to be done! These instructions are confusing. Bye!

The Windy City: Chicago!

I really want to go to Chicago this summer. No, cross that out. I will go to Chicago this summer because I need to go visit a school there, but what I want more than anything is to go with two of my closest friends in the world: J and Chris! I love these boys so much and we've discussed going on a really fabulous trip to Chicago before, but I don't think that either of them thought that we would be going this early or that we would all be going together. However, nothing could be more perfect, other than if Caity could make it, too. But I have a feeling she may be working, so it would be just the three of us. I don't want this trip to be a dream or a plan that we make for the distant future anymore. I want to make it a reality! J will be 18 at that point, and Chris will either be 19 still or 20 (he's a summer baby). We'll all be legal adults. What is there to lose? Hopefully not jobs. I really wish that we could go in the middle of the week, like M-W, but I doubt that would be reasonable. We could just do a weekend. We would leave on Friday night, stay in a hotel, I could visit my possible future school, then we could all hang out and go places with a map and then go home that night! We could probably only afford one night for the hotel. I'm really excited. Mama said that I could go with her and her bf, but that just doesn't sound fun, risky or adventurous at all, to me. I want an adventure. I want memories. I want something special, and this could be my chance! So I hope that I can take it with the two most important men in my life, other than Papa and Jesus Christ (haha, Gaga moment!). Please God, help us get through this semester and be with us on our (possible) future trip~! I haven't even told either of them my idea yet. Lol. I hope they don't cringe at the thought of spending that much time together because I love them both! They have so much more in common than they realize. This could really be a chance for them to see that in one another.

I shaved my sideburns off today, because I can. I also had a little bit of facial hair, which is NOT KAWAII AT ALL! So I shaved that, too! I didn't even know it was there! Eww!!
So yeah, I feel a little better now that I've done that. I never did like my sideburns, but it was always a subconscious thing. I never really thought about them, but when I would try to take photos of earrings or whatever, I'd look at the photo and think, "Yuck...that doesn't look good." Then I would delete it, take the earrings off, and photograph them on a table or something. Lol. But no longer!! The first photo is before, the second is after.

Life Update

The last thing I posted last year was something about my crush. I still have a crush on him, but he has a girlfriend, now. One that isn't me. It kind of sucks, but I try not to think about it too hard. These things happen, you know? There's nothing wrong with me. I just keep trying to tell myself that I'm perfect the way I am, and he just didn't get the opportunity to experience that, which is too bad for him. I'm still sad, though, even though I kind of know it wasn't meant to be. We haven't talked about it in a really long time, and I'd like to keep it that way. I just don't understand why anyone would pick someone else over me...I know that sounds selfish. No, that is REALLY selfish. We're all human beings here, with layers and personalities and lungs and hearts, but sometimes, that's so easy to forget.
I thought it would be kind of awkward to give him the fool's gold at this point, so I ended up only giving him the pet rock. He seriously appreciated it and laughed and even seemed a little moved that I thought of him. He thanked me and gave me this hug that was, like, a real hug. You know? He gave me a serious hug, like people give to people that they love. But he doesn't love me.
I feel really dumb because I'm just sitting here and crying for no real reason at all. I guess it's because things just aren't the same anymore and I miss him and I wish he wasn't with her. I didn't realize I actually care this much. But I guess no one has to know until they find this blog, which won't happen for a while until I get mildly famous.

Neck pillow!

This feels so incredibly right!!

Sorry~ I've been a bit busy! ^^